GETTING A GRIP ON ANGER
I built a fire this winter with visions of writing by a welcoming hearth. Instead, I managed to spend the afternoon fighting the fire.
A pile of dry oak logs will do that. The wood planks were too heavy and the fire too hot for me to keep them contained.
It was like a beast took all of my energy to feed it and it was voracious.
Unresolved anger is like that. Out of control, destructive, an unending source of pain.
This fire was not my first and the more I used a prod to keep it in a triangular shape the more the logs rolled. At one point a blazing log rolled off through the screen and onto the hearth!
Rehashing thoughts of what makes us angry makes the problem bigger and solutions less likely.
Unresolved anger can lead to bitterness and if left unchecked can lead to physical problems.
I know, I spent my life stuffing my anger thinking it was the right thing to do. As I researched it, experts seem to agree that acknowledging the hurt done to you and forgiving the person who did it is healthier in the long run.
Long lesson of the story — I spent hours putting on wood to feed that fire and couldn’t get anything else done.
Next time you are tempted to feed an injury or offense remember how much time and effort it takes to feed something that brings you more harm than good.
Find ways to use that anger.
Find out why you were so hurt by another’s words or actions. And work on learning more about yourself. This kind of exercise helps us to grow into better and more compassionate people.
When you can look back at betrayal, targeted insults and be grateful for the lessons learned you know you’re on your way to being healed.
If your anger is toward social injustice or abuse a great way to control it is by joining an effort that helps victims of the abuse.
Using our gifts and talents in that area will also help build a stronger self esteem and protect you from future abuse.
It’s a lifelong lesson and I’d love to hear your thoughts on managing anger. What are some ways you’ve learned to deal with this emotion?
Be Well,
Kelly
“In times of great stress or adversity, it’s always best to keep busy, to plow your anger and your energy into something positive.
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