How Safe Boundaries Can Help You Heal From Church Hurt
“Lord, you alone are my portion and my cup; you make my lot secure.
The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; surely I have a delightful inheritance.
I will praise the Lord who counsels me; even at night my heart instructs me.
I keep my eyes always on the Lord.
With him at my right hand, I will not be shaken. ”
Have you struggled with setting healthy boundaries like me? I tend to give to others until I’m burnt out.
Do you pick up on the tensions in a room when you walk in? Or seem to know how a person will react before they do?
I’ve read from some who call this an extra sensitive personality. Unfortunately, those of us who have this gift have been misjudged and baggage goes along with this label.
Maybe you’ve been attacked by others because you have this gift.
In one church I trained in this gift and made my self available to serve others during prayer. Some places call it presbytery prayer, others call it prophetic ministry.
In this experience I’d longed to encourage others and followed the rules of the church leaders as I prayed along side an elder and one other person.
We prayed for a beautiful lady who was a long time member of this particular church.
The prayer was amazing and extremely encouraging. Or so I thought.
Unbeknownst to me the lady was offended by my prayer and went to the leadership about my encouragement to her.
Fortunately, I had followed the boundaries set down by the church pastors and leadership. Because the lady I prayed for shunned me and my words to her.
The elder who prayed along side called me and shared that what I had prayed for her was accurate and biblical.
So what went wrong?
Instead of blessing a fellow member of the congregation I was publicly ‘shamed’ and told I could no longer use this gift.
If this has happened to you my friend, my heart goes out to you.
It’s painful and crushing when you’ve prepared for years to be used in a gift only to be rejected by the one you are serving.
Some ways I have healed from this traumatic event that may be helpful to you.
If the offended person comes to you with the offense you may simply apologize and release them from what you told them.
Talk with a wise counselor about the incident and find out how she overcame the rejection.
Seek God and heal before you talk publicly about your hurt. It will protect your heart as well as stop from inflicting any further pain to others.
The church I was attending was undergoing a ‘split’ and so after much prayer my husband and I left that church.
My wise friend introduced me to a prayer group and her leader who helped me understand what had happened. As well as sharing scripture to give revelation to the event and how I could then proceed.
My wise counselors also helped me to construct a letter so I’d be released from the membership of this church.
Finally, the best thing I did was to look at my part in the conflict. And how I might do a better job in my next opportunity to serve.
What have you experienced in keeping God’s pleasant boundaries? How have they kept you safe? How have you overcome rejection in ways that may now help someone else heal from church hurt?
It’s my joy to write for you. Please drop a line in the comment section on ideas you may have for a future blogpost. I’d love to know!
